Daddy Knows Best: Chapter One: Basic Anatomy.

Introduction:  This series is a collection of essays I've posted online. They are my personal advice, experience and things I've taught boys in the past.


Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional and my advice is anecdotal and should not be taken in place of that of a licensed professional. It is intended for entertainment, inspirational and educational purposes only. I'm a Daddy not a doctor. I may be able to kiss it make it better but I can't write a prescription.


Chapter One: Some Basic Anatomy and elementary lessons in style and technique for boy Daddies and their boys.

Lesson 1: A map to success.
The illustration above has several pieces of information which are important so I will break them down piece by piece, including some anatomy. It is important not only for the Top, but also the Bottom to be aware of these things and know how they are used properly in sex. Prior to ANY of this there are a few things that need tending to. Tops: File down the edge of your fingernails so they are smooth, no ragged edges, and preferably not very long. The extra edge can cause tearing/bleeding/and pain which are not the goal here. For the bottom however, they need to be clean outside and preferably have at least voided their bowels and cleaned up afterward. Its ass fucking, expect it to be messy to a certain degree, but its good for both to be considerate and properly clean yourselves. One additional note for the tops: learn to enjoy this process and put your own erection and desire to fuck on hold, because the hotter the bottom gets, the better the ride.

First: The Cheeks.
The rounded line behind the base of the finger, this is the ‘cheek’ exterior. Depending on the position of the bottom and their basic shape, this can become an important factor as pulling them apart to get in there can adjust the position of internal points of interest, so for now we will assume that the cheeks are relaxed and the bottom bent over on all fours with their back straight not leaning down (other variations will be covered in later lessons). Do not however ignore them, as they are the ‘guardians’ of what lies past them. Massage them gently, one in each hand, knead gently like you are making dough, and move gently (i cant emphasize that enough GENTLY until you know exactly what kind of touch your bottom likes)in small circles moving in opposite directions, opening and closing the space between them so that the anus is exposed and then protected again. This subtle technique helps the bottom relax and feel more secure in what’s going on. An uptight bottom makes for a tensed ring and that isn’t going to help you. The cheeks are your best friend for several reasons, so treat them as such, or they won’t let you past to the next gate keeper, the Ring of the anus.

Second: The Ring itself.
Now while the Cheeks were sort of like the friends that sometimes try to keep you from hurting their friend, the anus is like the actual body guard. A clenched ring makes it MUCH more difficult, and this spot is usually the most difficult to work with as a lot of ‘male frigidity’ or ‘sexual pain’ sufferers respond most poorly to stimulating it. While these two things are very uncommon, it is not unusual to run into very reactionary rings among less experienced bottoms, virgins especially. The way past the ring, is to treat it like a puzzle box. Hitting just one spot wont let you past, but a series of strokes from out to in, as well as a technique in massage called ‘tapotement’, in specific the use of the tapping technique, where you gently tap a gentle slow beat to wake the nervous system up, get blood flowing into the area and increase sensitivity. Between gentle swirls, tapping and sliding the finger from out a few inches to just where it touches the ring, the anus will start to relax and even start ‘winking’ which is natures way of saying ‘come on in boy’ and you’d better heed that welcome. Slide in a little (no further than the first knuckle) once that happens, then slide back out slowly. Use this for a few strokes THEN move to the second knuckle, repeating the outer ring techniques described then slide back in. Continue, patiently and gently until you have your finger buried to the base. That’s when the fun REALLY starts.

Third: The Prostate.
In this position with the butt relaxed, the prostate which is the turbo button for a boys desire to get fucked is sitting directly past his hip bone. A good gauge is if your thumb is pressed against the perineum (taint) the curve of your index finger as it slides in will be against the prostate when the thumb and index form a C with the two separated approximately 3 inches and your index inserted to the base. Do NOT just jam and twist around until you find it. Relax your finger and let it follow the natural shape of the insides of your bottom. Forcing it at this stage might be a shock, and since you are knuckle deep in a boy, that ring might slam shut on your finger, which can be quite painful depending on their internal strength. Once you have your finger relaxed and fully inserted, and they start responding to your touch, begin slowly moving your index finger in a small circle, and after a while do the same with your thumb which is against their taint. Right now, if you are in the proper position, the prostate is actually between the thumb and index, and by stimulating it internally and externally you bring blood into those areas, warming them, making them relaxed and more sensitive to stimulation. This is the goal even more than the pleasure for both of you because with a little effort on the Tops part, the prostate becomes stimulated and grows slightly in size, which means when your dick is in there, and not your finger, you will hit that magic spot much more often.

A “little” life: ABDL and the Dad/son fetish.

I came home late one afternoon and the place was a mess. I mean a mess in the sense that a hurricane had blown in and it had disaster written in crayon all across the room. He wasn't happy, probably because I took longer than normal coming home or something had upset him during the day. It was his way of speaking without using words. When he was happy everything was perfect, idealized even, when I'd come home from work. There were times I playfully threatened to get him a 'sitter' for when Daddy had to work late. He was not fond of the idea and neither was I because I knew that any 'real' sitter would have freaked out and anyone who wouldn't wasn't someone I would trust with him.

Jonathan was very special. He toddled, didn't speak very much, but he also didn't cry often. He was a very well behaved boy, affectionate, endearing to watch play with his stuffed tiger on the floor as we watched cartoons and even adorable when he lay down with his head in my lap before falling asleep. He had tantrums, as any very little person has, and when he did he needed someone to bring him back around to being good again. Most of the time he was precocious, even impish, but when he was a quick and vigorous tickle fight would leave him wetting himself and laughing silly on the floor.

I learned a lot about being a Daddy from my time with Jonathan: how to be the teddy bear when things were frightening and how to be Daddy bear that would scare the monsters under the bed when he growled. Mostly I learned to get out of my own head space as an 'adult' and to throw away the garbage that came with that about how important it was to be 'adult' at all time. It's not like being one of the Queen's guard where every moment you are on duty you are hard as stone and under pain of death to be a stick in the mud. That might have been the biggest lesson Jonathan taught me: how to let go and just have fun with whatever I was doing.

My “Little” liked me to call him Jon-jon or Little J, and he had a dozen or so names he liked to call me. I think perhaps “PawPaw” was my favorite because my hands were 'so much bigger than his' and I was 'a big teddy bear'. Most of the time it was like any other relationship, just a few 'little' caveats. Jonathan was a toddler in every way and he liked feeling that way. It wasn't even the submission of being helpless that he liked. It was the feeling he got when “Daddy was home” of being cared for in an incredibly powerful and intimate way because he knew that his Daddy would do anything for him. He also knew that Daddy set rules, kept things running smoothly and didn't let him do everything he wanted. He needed the control offered by a Daddy he could trust. This was one of the times that Jonathan would need Daddy to be less teddy and more dominant D Daddy.

Jonathan was an 'adult baby', meaning that he liked to live his private life in a way very much as described above. He liked being fully dependent upon someone he could trust, needed someone to help him regulate himself, provide affection, support and discipline. He needed a “Daddy” in all senses possible. The time we spent as Daddy and Little were, no doubt, not typical of that kind of relationship or lifestyle. Ours was not a sexual relationship at all, it was purely platonic and there was a lot about our full story that goes far beyond this small snapshot but it gives you a brief insight.

A “little” is someone who needs those feelings of childlike trust, wonder, safety and protection. Many adults share the desire for those feelings again but “little's actively seek to recreate them. In order to accomplish this a 'little' needs a dominant figure in their play time if not full time to make that feeling happen. Just as with any Age related play, the play part is more important than the demographics. Daddy can be older or younger and same with his little. It's not about that, but about the fantasy being role-played out between you as consenting adults.

This means operating within a Domination/submission framework and fully within the Dad/son fetish group for that same reason as Jonathan was a little boy who wanted a Big, a Daddy/Dom. It completed his fantasy world and let him escape the bonds of the 'adult' world. There is an entire spectrum with its own language, abbreviations, rules and games that are unique to this fetish. It would take up volumes to discuss the nuances of the Adult/baby form of infantilism, that is the regression of age to a place where one or both of the participants is comfortable. Usually the little sets the age, but everything should really be open to 'big talk' and compromise.

Sex between a Daddy/Dom and a little/sub happens. It should be redundant to say that it happens in almost every relationship where it is not ruled out. There is a language for that kind of play, and it is suitably 'childlike' in its simplicity because to talk about those concepts while 'playing' means staying in character, not breaking the illusion that creates the fantasy for them. Depending on the agreed boundaries of little/adult sex play it can range from (in very broad strokes here) almost vanilla like sex, through a bit kinky and as with any group there are extremes. I don't need to discuss the varieties of sex play with a little. It's not truly any different on a mechanical level from 'normal' sex, it is simply framed within a context of one being very young and the other being the caregiver/adult.

There is a power exchange, sometimes balanced, sometimes total, between the little and their Daddy. That said, it is my personal feeling that a Daddy should not be the only voice in determining the age of his little because that role is about their comfort not your preferences. Admittedly I am not particularly fond of extreme 'little' play where there's no communication what so ever but it exists as does a variety of 'enhancements' to the illusion and I'm not talking about props like a big crib or adult diapers. For some littles, the deeper the illusion goes the happier they are and that can include more than just diapers, but catheter insertion to remove 'control' of their own bladder during diaper time. Usually there is a balance of what the Daddy has control over but often there are elements of the littles life they need to completely let go of in order to get into 'littlespace' (the head space required to feel regressed to a certain age to complete the fantasy).

Within the broader context of the Domination/submission part of a Dad/son relationship the dynamic is remarkably the same between a little and that of an adult son. Both share the same need to feel safe, protected, cared for and loved by a figure they see as being powerful: their Daddy/Dom. A little has that same need to submit to the will of a Dominant partner as a son does, and they both seek the affection of someone like that in their life.

The biggest distinction is in the only real difference: the head-space of the submissive partner. For a son, their age is roughly the same as their biological age but for a little they need to strip back years to reach that place of safety in their playtime with their Daddy. For that reason there are some basic distinctions between types of “adult infantilism” : baby, little and middle. Babies are your toddler and pre-toddler ages, littles are usually 4-10 years old and the last is usually up to 16ish and may even be called 'big'. Each of these has its own rules, some go beyond a sex/play time thing into a lifestyle and for some, it's a full time thing. In my experience, the difference between an “Adult” Dad/son relationship and an Adult Baby (little) version is thin within the context of Domination and submission and adult relationship role-play.

• There is the same spectrum of platonic to erotic play/affection.

• There is a power balance between a perceived younger person and a perceived older one.
• There is the same power exchange dynamics going on where one or both exchange power within the relationship.
• Both use special language, signals and activities to complete the 'role-playing' aspect of the relationship.

The only functional differences are in the trappings of language, dress and the nuances of sex/play time. This is no 'fringe' fetish by any stretch of the imagination. It is diverse, populous and has enough variety to make a clear and concise picture difficult. There is a vast array of information out there about the specifics of the lifestyle because there are a great many people who choose this as their fetish lifestyle. By its very nature as a fetish, outsiders will not really understand why you live the way you do, just as they don't understand why I would call my adult submissive partner 'son'. It's language, it's all dressing an props to create a fun and functional relationship and environment to share love and affection.

To all the Jonathans out there: Daddy loves his special little boys bestest of all.

A life in different hues: A disclaimer and statement.

There are many aspects of fetishes that involve areas of behavior that some people might find uncomfortable and even distasteful. Usually their reactions are based in their own experiences and feelings about the topic because of unrelated things that seem connected in the passing glance they are willing to give things that disturb them. There is nothing, I repeat nothing, that the world as a whole will accept no matter how vanilla it is. The thing to remember is that this is someone's life. This is what makes them happiest and most fulfilled. There may be thousands of reasons that is the case for them but it is purely individual and shouldn't be stereotyped by blanket ignorance. Sex and sexuality are considered 'mature' topics, no matter how educational or polite the language is. There is a great deal of entitled prudishness that enables bullying of others, especially the most vulnerable and sensitive because they fight back the least. I don't have to share their feelings or practice their way of living to be able to understand and respect them.

My works are my stories, born of my experiences and textured so the real story isn't recognizable by anyone but me to preserve the privacy of any involved and protect their identity should details sound familiar to an outsider. This is one of my biggest rules when it comes to blogging: I know the truth but I am the only one who does. What you read IS true but the details like dialog, locations, names etc are 'fictionalized' for that reason. These are private moments in my life that can become teaching moments for yours, and so I choose to share them.

I do not put on airs of expertise in any area of fetish I write about. What I am doing is expressing my voice as a (D)addy, using my experiences to illustrate the variety that the Adult Dad/son relationship comes in, additional fetish elements that can be incorporated in it,  and open doors of exploration of personal feelings, thoughts and desires in my readership. I am not writing THIS blog to 'entertain' but to edify. My other blogs are entertainment. This one is strictly about my works as a writer and educator. If my opinions, thoughts and experiences offend, please feel free to leave. No one brought you here but yourself and perhaps that should be a signal to you to read with an open mind because part of you wanted to know to begin with. At the end of every piece I will try to address those who live those lives personally and so you'll see me using language specific to those fetish lifestyles. So from here on out, the work begins.

Daddy Defines: A vocabulary and style lesson when viewing this blog.

I feel like it’s important to handle some potential questions about the language and how I intend their meanings in the context of my blog. This is the internet and a large part of what I do is to discuss a fetish lifestyle as well as share my own anecdotes about life with my son. There are a lot of words I use that, out of context, could be misinterpreted and I want them as clear as possible. We’re all bound by common use of language and common does not mean accurate in terms of understanding. As a purely gay man, I can’t have my own children without science so I never have. If I did, this entire blog would have nothing to do with them. Period. That said, this lifestyle adopts and redefines the family labels to mean different roles and positions within the hierarchy found here. These definitions can obviously be purely sexual or can be a full time living situation as well.

On Style:
In Dialogue:
Bold: This is Daddy speaking in the first person.
lower case in "quotations": this refers to my son or boy speaking. often all words except those being emphasized are in lower case but Daddy is always emphasized when he speaks.  
lower case in 'apostrophes': this has the same style as son/boy but this means a secondary son/boy in the dialogue.
In Non-dialogue the standard conventions of writing are used with the exceptions of the Dominant D and submissive s usages.

Vocabulary 101:

Daddy: The capital D uses the Dominant upper case as is the convention in this style of relationship. This refers to an older, more mature ‘Dom’ who enjoys teaching, training and sharing pleasure with younger adults. He’s a mentor as much as anything else and in my case. The reason I always capitalize the D is to emphasize the ‘Dominant’ part because it includes being a guide and teacher as much as it expresses my physical and charismatic ‘control’ of my boy or son.

son: Secondary only to Daddy himself, the son’s presence in the situation is what makes it a Dad/son scene. Note the lower case "s", this is a standard form for 'submissive' lettering. This refers to a younger male, over the age of 18, who chooses to be with a Daddy for the above reasons provided in the definition of Daddy. A son differs from a boy in several ways but the term can be interchangeable as well. son is more intimate and personal as well as an ‘achievement’ for a boy. Graduating from boy to son is like passing a final exam. He’s learned to be more than just a ‘boy’ and has dedicated himself to being Good for his Daddy. When capitalized as Son, it is meant to show an elevated status, usually one expressing Daddy's pride in him. The majority of the time I use son, it will be lower case to maintain the conventions that are understood here after.

boy: Again in lower case as with son. This refers to what some call ‘the uninitiated’. It’s a young male (again 18) who wants to enter into the kind of relationship I describe in my blog but hasn’t yet experienced time with a Daddy nor understands what that means. Emphasis is on yet. He’s unsure of how to ‘obey’ Daddy or what rules mean and how to behave. Even if he is very sexually experienced, his first time with a Daddy truly is breaking his ‘cherry’ because it is something entirely different. Much how oral and anal virginity are two different things, sex with another boy is VERY different from sex with Daddy. In my real life I use boy alternatively to son because it can sound like bad porn dialogue to punctuate every groan with son.

uncle: A close older friend of Daddy and his son that they both enjoy sharing ‘family time’ with. In such a situation the 'uncle' is subordinate to Daddy and even to his son to a degree depending on the playtime fantasy they are going to share.

brother/cousin : A ‘boy'; close to the son’s age that has become part of the Dad/son relationship with those two making it a three way relationship, a cousin might be the equivalent to an uncle that doesn’t live with the Dad and son but is an occasional playmate. When writing dialogue involving brothers, the eldest uses " where the little/youngest uses ' to denote their dialogue by role. Ex: 'hey, Daddy said we can't play like that until he gets home' (this is little brother talking) "Yeah I know, but when he's gone I'm in charge right? (older brother talking, and wrong, Daddy is still in charge even when he's not home).

Grandfather/ Granddaddy: This happens when the torch passes from Daddy to son and he in turn has a son of his own. When there are three “generations” sharing the bed together, Daddy is in charge but listens to Granddaddies advice. in some ways this is an eventual goal in the dynamic of Dad/son to someday see him grow into a Daddy himself but should that not occur and his son wish to remain that way, there is no shame or stigma in being “Daddy’s boy”. In fact.. even if he does grow into a Daddy he will always be Daddy’s boy.

Domination/submission: These terms involve a complex balance of power between two adults that entails one choosing to ‘submit’ to the guidance and “Domination” of the other. The change in where power lies is superficial in a respectful relationship and whose pleasure is most important is just as fluid. As a Daddy there are times I simply want to blow my sons mind and watch his body quake when I’m done. Times like that are ALL about him as a demonstration of my self control and focus. He learned very well and now knows how to put his own needs on hold while he services his Daddy. This kind of flip flop shows appreciation for each other as well as a dedication to their pleasure.

Servicing: A rather dry word to describe a very wet act. To service someone is to focus completely on their pleasure, to sublimate your own desire or orgasm in favor of giving them the best experience you can. It is part of the 'submission' I describe in my works, that desire that supersedes needs.

Kink: This refers to any sexual practice that isn’t missionary sex or the most bland and boring thing you can imagine in bed. Kink has been used to describe everything from rimming to enjoying feeling cum on your body. Kink is a word I don’t believe in. If calling it kinky is a turn on for you because you feel ‘naughty’ for enjoying what you are doing, go right on a head. I simply don’t believe in it by that definition.

Fetish: Fetish, in my book, is a sexual kink that you can’t (emphasis on CAN’T) really enjoy sex without. It’s much like an inhibition in that it can keep you from pleasure you’d otherwise enjoy. I, myself, refuse to have a ‘fetish’ because of that reason. This lifestyle is considered Fetish by the community at large, and as such i refer to the works here as fetish education. I am teaching about this fetish to many who've never encountered or experienced it in this context.

Dirty:  I am more than a bit of a hedonist because I believe in the wealth of pleasure life and exploration have taught me they offer. If you don’t try it how will you know you don’t like it? It’s good to trust your own limits but also good to explore yourself and figure out why you are turned off by things. I’ve surprised myself more than a few times in what I learned about myself. I’ve been around enough kink/fetish situations to know a lot about many of them and what really makes me “Dirty” is that I’m not the least ashamed of that knowledge OR of employing whatever aspect of those ‘kinks’ I choose at any given time if I think it will maximize the pleasure I’m sharing with a boy.

Open Minded: This means I’m not judgmental. I’d be seriously hypocritical if I were a judgmental person because my entire life and lifestyle have been ‘off the beaten path’ from early on. It means that I do NOT have to enjoy your personal kink/fetish to be able to talk about it, learn about it or even practice it with you in private. I’m not into spanking personally, it doesn’t arouse me until I feel the boys erection against my leg. THEN it arouses me. Open minded, to me, means there are no ‘boundaries’ that an average person can imagine where I could possibly feel entitled enough to be rude, dismissive or just crass about when it is someone’s life and way of living. You’re reading mine, that means you know what I’m about enough to understand my meaning here as well.

Perv/Pervy: This one right here is a troublesome one for me. When I grew up being gay meant you were a pervert because you were different from  the ‘straight’ world. You were a perv for thinking about sex with another boy your age and you were worse for actually doing it. In my experience perv is a pejorative like ‘fag’ in this context and one I have spent a long time dis-empowering and breaking of its meaning by taking ownership of that word as many have with fag. I don’t use the word often because it’s very easily used out of context to infer a different meaning than I intend which is this: to enjoy ones fetish is against the grain of society at large and thus perv becomes a term for one who enjoys it. Don’t believe me? Put on a leather harness and walk in the ‘wrong part of town’ and see what gets said to you. I, personally, take pleasure in being called kinky in bed (that’s a compliment the first time someone says it because they are turned on by whats going on) and a pervert by old ladies when I walk somewhere holding my son’s hand. My closing thought on this word: Fuck em. Not their place, not their life, not their right to judge and execute my life. Me? I’m going to take this cute fellow home and pound his ass until Daddy has replaced ‘god’ in his vocabulary used during sex. If that offends you, get a dildo and go fuck yourself.