A “little” life: ABDL and the Dad/son fetish.

I came home late one afternoon and the place was a mess. I mean a mess in the sense that a hurricane had blown in and it had disaster written in crayon all across the room. He wasn't happy, probably because I took longer than normal coming home or something had upset him during the day. It was his way of speaking without using words. When he was happy everything was perfect, idealized even, when I'd come home from work. There were times I playfully threatened to get him a 'sitter' for when Daddy had to work late. He was not fond of the idea and neither was I because I knew that any 'real' sitter would have freaked out and anyone who wouldn't wasn't someone I would trust with him.

Jonathan was very special. He toddled, didn't speak very much, but he also didn't cry often. He was a very well behaved boy, affectionate, endearing to watch play with his stuffed tiger on the floor as we watched cartoons and even adorable when he lay down with his head in my lap before falling asleep. He had tantrums, as any very little person has, and when he did he needed someone to bring him back around to being good again. Most of the time he was precocious, even impish, but when he was a quick and vigorous tickle fight would leave him wetting himself and laughing silly on the floor.

I learned a lot about being a Daddy from my time with Jonathan: how to be the teddy bear when things were frightening and how to be Daddy bear that would scare the monsters under the bed when he growled. Mostly I learned to get out of my own head space as an 'adult' and to throw away the garbage that came with that about how important it was to be 'adult' at all time. It's not like being one of the Queen's guard where every moment you are on duty you are hard as stone and under pain of death to be a stick in the mud. That might have been the biggest lesson Jonathan taught me: how to let go and just have fun with whatever I was doing.

My “Little” liked me to call him Jon-jon or Little J, and he had a dozen or so names he liked to call me. I think perhaps “PawPaw” was my favorite because my hands were 'so much bigger than his' and I was 'a big teddy bear'. Most of the time it was like any other relationship, just a few 'little' caveats. Jonathan was a toddler in every way and he liked feeling that way. It wasn't even the submission of being helpless that he liked. It was the feeling he got when “Daddy was home” of being cared for in an incredibly powerful and intimate way because he knew that his Daddy would do anything for him. He also knew that Daddy set rules, kept things running smoothly and didn't let him do everything he wanted. He needed the control offered by a Daddy he could trust. This was one of the times that Jonathan would need Daddy to be less teddy and more dominant D Daddy.

Jonathan was an 'adult baby', meaning that he liked to live his private life in a way very much as described above. He liked being fully dependent upon someone he could trust, needed someone to help him regulate himself, provide affection, support and discipline. He needed a “Daddy” in all senses possible. The time we spent as Daddy and Little were, no doubt, not typical of that kind of relationship or lifestyle. Ours was not a sexual relationship at all, it was purely platonic and there was a lot about our full story that goes far beyond this small snapshot but it gives you a brief insight.

A “little” is someone who needs those feelings of childlike trust, wonder, safety and protection. Many adults share the desire for those feelings again but “little's actively seek to recreate them. In order to accomplish this a 'little' needs a dominant figure in their play time if not full time to make that feeling happen. Just as with any Age related play, the play part is more important than the demographics. Daddy can be older or younger and same with his little. It's not about that, but about the fantasy being role-played out between you as consenting adults.

This means operating within a Domination/submission framework and fully within the Dad/son fetish group for that same reason as Jonathan was a little boy who wanted a Big, a Daddy/Dom. It completed his fantasy world and let him escape the bonds of the 'adult' world. There is an entire spectrum with its own language, abbreviations, rules and games that are unique to this fetish. It would take up volumes to discuss the nuances of the Adult/baby form of infantilism, that is the regression of age to a place where one or both of the participants is comfortable. Usually the little sets the age, but everything should really be open to 'big talk' and compromise.

Sex between a Daddy/Dom and a little/sub happens. It should be redundant to say that it happens in almost every relationship where it is not ruled out. There is a language for that kind of play, and it is suitably 'childlike' in its simplicity because to talk about those concepts while 'playing' means staying in character, not breaking the illusion that creates the fantasy for them. Depending on the agreed boundaries of little/adult sex play it can range from (in very broad strokes here) almost vanilla like sex, through a bit kinky and as with any group there are extremes. I don't need to discuss the varieties of sex play with a little. It's not truly any different on a mechanical level from 'normal' sex, it is simply framed within a context of one being very young and the other being the caregiver/adult.

There is a power exchange, sometimes balanced, sometimes total, between the little and their Daddy. That said, it is my personal feeling that a Daddy should not be the only voice in determining the age of his little because that role is about their comfort not your preferences. Admittedly I am not particularly fond of extreme 'little' play where there's no communication what so ever but it exists as does a variety of 'enhancements' to the illusion and I'm not talking about props like a big crib or adult diapers. For some littles, the deeper the illusion goes the happier they are and that can include more than just diapers, but catheter insertion to remove 'control' of their own bladder during diaper time. Usually there is a balance of what the Daddy has control over but often there are elements of the littles life they need to completely let go of in order to get into 'littlespace' (the head space required to feel regressed to a certain age to complete the fantasy).

Within the broader context of the Domination/submission part of a Dad/son relationship the dynamic is remarkably the same between a little and that of an adult son. Both share the same need to feel safe, protected, cared for and loved by a figure they see as being powerful: their Daddy/Dom. A little has that same need to submit to the will of a Dominant partner as a son does, and they both seek the affection of someone like that in their life.

The biggest distinction is in the only real difference: the head-space of the submissive partner. For a son, their age is roughly the same as their biological age but for a little they need to strip back years to reach that place of safety in their playtime with their Daddy. For that reason there are some basic distinctions between types of “adult infantilism” : baby, little and middle. Babies are your toddler and pre-toddler ages, littles are usually 4-10 years old and the last is usually up to 16ish and may even be called 'big'. Each of these has its own rules, some go beyond a sex/play time thing into a lifestyle and for some, it's a full time thing. In my experience, the difference between an “Adult” Dad/son relationship and an Adult Baby (little) version is thin within the context of Domination and submission and adult relationship role-play.

• There is the same spectrum of platonic to erotic play/affection.

• There is a power balance between a perceived younger person and a perceived older one.
• There is the same power exchange dynamics going on where one or both exchange power within the relationship.
• Both use special language, signals and activities to complete the 'role-playing' aspect of the relationship.

The only functional differences are in the trappings of language, dress and the nuances of sex/play time. This is no 'fringe' fetish by any stretch of the imagination. It is diverse, populous and has enough variety to make a clear and concise picture difficult. There is a vast array of information out there about the specifics of the lifestyle because there are a great many people who choose this as their fetish lifestyle. By its very nature as a fetish, outsiders will not really understand why you live the way you do, just as they don't understand why I would call my adult submissive partner 'son'. It's language, it's all dressing an props to create a fun and functional relationship and environment to share love and affection.

To all the Jonathans out there: Daddy loves his special little boys bestest of all.