Daddy Defines: A vocabulary and style lesson when viewing this blog.

I feel like it’s important to handle some potential questions about the language and how I intend their meanings in the context of my blog. This is the internet and a large part of what I do is to discuss a fetish lifestyle as well as share my own anecdotes about life with my son. There are a lot of words I use that, out of context, could be misinterpreted and I want them as clear as possible. We’re all bound by common use of language and common does not mean accurate in terms of understanding. As a purely gay man, I can’t have my own children without science so I never have. If I did, this entire blog would have nothing to do with them. Period. That said, this lifestyle adopts and redefines the family labels to mean different roles and positions within the hierarchy found here. These definitions can obviously be purely sexual or can be a full time living situation as well.

On Style:
In Dialogue:
Bold: This is Daddy speaking in the first person.
lower case in "quotations": this refers to my son or boy speaking. often all words except those being emphasized are in lower case but Daddy is always emphasized when he speaks.  
lower case in 'apostrophes': this has the same style as son/boy but this means a secondary son/boy in the dialogue.
In Non-dialogue the standard conventions of writing are used with the exceptions of the Dominant D and submissive s usages.

Vocabulary 101:

Daddy: The capital D uses the Dominant upper case as is the convention in this style of relationship. This refers to an older, more mature ‘Dom’ who enjoys teaching, training and sharing pleasure with younger adults. He’s a mentor as much as anything else and in my case. The reason I always capitalize the D is to emphasize the ‘Dominant’ part because it includes being a guide and teacher as much as it expresses my physical and charismatic ‘control’ of my boy or son.

son: Secondary only to Daddy himself, the son’s presence in the situation is what makes it a Dad/son scene. Note the lower case "s", this is a standard form for 'submissive' lettering. This refers to a younger male, over the age of 18, who chooses to be with a Daddy for the above reasons provided in the definition of Daddy. A son differs from a boy in several ways but the term can be interchangeable as well. son is more intimate and personal as well as an ‘achievement’ for a boy. Graduating from boy to son is like passing a final exam. He’s learned to be more than just a ‘boy’ and has dedicated himself to being Good for his Daddy. When capitalized as Son, it is meant to show an elevated status, usually one expressing Daddy's pride in him. The majority of the time I use son, it will be lower case to maintain the conventions that are understood here after.

boy: Again in lower case as with son. This refers to what some call ‘the uninitiated’. It’s a young male (again 18) who wants to enter into the kind of relationship I describe in my blog but hasn’t yet experienced time with a Daddy nor understands what that means. Emphasis is on yet. He’s unsure of how to ‘obey’ Daddy or what rules mean and how to behave. Even if he is very sexually experienced, his first time with a Daddy truly is breaking his ‘cherry’ because it is something entirely different. Much how oral and anal virginity are two different things, sex with another boy is VERY different from sex with Daddy. In my real life I use boy alternatively to son because it can sound like bad porn dialogue to punctuate every groan with son.

uncle: A close older friend of Daddy and his son that they both enjoy sharing ‘family time’ with. In such a situation the 'uncle' is subordinate to Daddy and even to his son to a degree depending on the playtime fantasy they are going to share.

brother/cousin : A ‘boy'; close to the son’s age that has become part of the Dad/son relationship with those two making it a three way relationship, a cousin might be the equivalent to an uncle that doesn’t live with the Dad and son but is an occasional playmate. When writing dialogue involving brothers, the eldest uses " where the little/youngest uses ' to denote their dialogue by role. Ex: 'hey, Daddy said we can't play like that until he gets home' (this is little brother talking) "Yeah I know, but when he's gone I'm in charge right? (older brother talking, and wrong, Daddy is still in charge even when he's not home).

Grandfather/ Granddaddy: This happens when the torch passes from Daddy to son and he in turn has a son of his own. When there are three “generations” sharing the bed together, Daddy is in charge but listens to Granddaddies advice. in some ways this is an eventual goal in the dynamic of Dad/son to someday see him grow into a Daddy himself but should that not occur and his son wish to remain that way, there is no shame or stigma in being “Daddy’s boy”. In fact.. even if he does grow into a Daddy he will always be Daddy’s boy.

Domination/submission: These terms involve a complex balance of power between two adults that entails one choosing to ‘submit’ to the guidance and “Domination” of the other. The change in where power lies is superficial in a respectful relationship and whose pleasure is most important is just as fluid. As a Daddy there are times I simply want to blow my sons mind and watch his body quake when I’m done. Times like that are ALL about him as a demonstration of my self control and focus. He learned very well and now knows how to put his own needs on hold while he services his Daddy. This kind of flip flop shows appreciation for each other as well as a dedication to their pleasure.

Servicing: A rather dry word to describe a very wet act. To service someone is to focus completely on their pleasure, to sublimate your own desire or orgasm in favor of giving them the best experience you can. It is part of the 'submission' I describe in my works, that desire that supersedes needs.

Kink: This refers to any sexual practice that isn’t missionary sex or the most bland and boring thing you can imagine in bed. Kink has been used to describe everything from rimming to enjoying feeling cum on your body. Kink is a word I don’t believe in. If calling it kinky is a turn on for you because you feel ‘naughty’ for enjoying what you are doing, go right on a head. I simply don’t believe in it by that definition.

Fetish: Fetish, in my book, is a sexual kink that you can’t (emphasis on CAN’T) really enjoy sex without. It’s much like an inhibition in that it can keep you from pleasure you’d otherwise enjoy. I, myself, refuse to have a ‘fetish’ because of that reason. This lifestyle is considered Fetish by the community at large, and as such i refer to the works here as fetish education. I am teaching about this fetish to many who've never encountered or experienced it in this context.

Dirty:  I am more than a bit of a hedonist because I believe in the wealth of pleasure life and exploration have taught me they offer. If you don’t try it how will you know you don’t like it? It’s good to trust your own limits but also good to explore yourself and figure out why you are turned off by things. I’ve surprised myself more than a few times in what I learned about myself. I’ve been around enough kink/fetish situations to know a lot about many of them and what really makes me “Dirty” is that I’m not the least ashamed of that knowledge OR of employing whatever aspect of those ‘kinks’ I choose at any given time if I think it will maximize the pleasure I’m sharing with a boy.

Open Minded: This means I’m not judgmental. I’d be seriously hypocritical if I were a judgmental person because my entire life and lifestyle have been ‘off the beaten path’ from early on. It means that I do NOT have to enjoy your personal kink/fetish to be able to talk about it, learn about it or even practice it with you in private. I’m not into spanking personally, it doesn’t arouse me until I feel the boys erection against my leg. THEN it arouses me. Open minded, to me, means there are no ‘boundaries’ that an average person can imagine where I could possibly feel entitled enough to be rude, dismissive or just crass about when it is someone’s life and way of living. You’re reading mine, that means you know what I’m about enough to understand my meaning here as well.

Perv/Pervy: This one right here is a troublesome one for me. When I grew up being gay meant you were a pervert because you were different from  the ‘straight’ world. You were a perv for thinking about sex with another boy your age and you were worse for actually doing it. In my experience perv is a pejorative like ‘fag’ in this context and one I have spent a long time dis-empowering and breaking of its meaning by taking ownership of that word as many have with fag. I don’t use the word often because it’s very easily used out of context to infer a different meaning than I intend which is this: to enjoy ones fetish is against the grain of society at large and thus perv becomes a term for one who enjoys it. Don’t believe me? Put on a leather harness and walk in the ‘wrong part of town’ and see what gets said to you. I, personally, take pleasure in being called kinky in bed (that’s a compliment the first time someone says it because they are turned on by whats going on) and a pervert by old ladies when I walk somewhere holding my son’s hand. My closing thought on this word: Fuck em. Not their place, not their life, not their right to judge and execute my life. Me? I’m going to take this cute fellow home and pound his ass until Daddy has replaced ‘god’ in his vocabulary used during sex. If that offends you, get a dildo and go fuck yourself.