Dear Daddy: How can I help my Daddy with his ED?

Hello Sir, I’m a boy who has introduced his daddy to being a Daddy and he’s taking pretty well to it. However there is a little hiccup, not a problem exactly, we have workarounds and I take it part and parcel of dating much older. but how would you and your son deal with you having some ED and viagra not always helping? Thank you.          

Son, there are a few things that can be done to help with Erectile Dysfunction. I’m going to assume your Daddy is an older male which often comes with a longer period of required stimulation and longer refractory period (aka the ‘recharge’ window) and that can lead to difficulty maintaining an erection that go round. There are several exercises he can do that will help maintain stronger erections and are benefits in many more ways than that for male sexual and internal health.

Note:

I am not a medical professional and this is not ‘medical advice’. It is information passed on from studies and clinical experience of others and should be taken as a ‘starting point’ and not to replace a visit to your doctor to discuss alternatives to Viagra. This should happen first as it may prevent using some of these ideas, but they can be brought to the physician to discuss their incorporation safely.

---

First Up: I wrote this lesson with boys in mind to improve their sexual performance and gain fine muscle control but it is clinically proven to work for erection strength, ejaculation and even more. This should definitely be investigated further but remember: there is no real benefit to ‘additional’ aides in training so there’s no need to spend 200 or more on an “ED men’s kegel kit”. You can do this at home, at work, on the bus, in the car and no one will ever know so do it often and reap the benefits.
Pelvic Floor Muscle Training. 

How do I know what muscles to tighten?

The first step is to correctly identify the muscles. Sit comfortably - your thighs, buttocks and tummy muscles should be relaxed. Lift and squeeze inside as if you are trying to hold back urine, or wind from the back passage. This may be easiest to actually use the muscles for real by taking a shower and practicing being able to focus on just that specific muscle. It takes practice and you shouldn’t hold a stream for too long, so the shower part is just to identify which to tighten. After that, practice it dry and anywhere you find the time.

If you are unable to feel a definite squeeze and lift action of your pelvic floor, don’t worry. Even people with very weak muscles can be taught these exercises.

If you feel unsure whether you have identified the correct muscles, try to stop your flow when passing urine, then restart it. Only do this to identify the correct muscles to use - this is a test, NOT an exercise.

If you are unable to feel a definite tighten and lift action in your pelvic floor muscles you should seek professional advice.

How do I start pelvic floor muscle training program?

At first you may need to perform these exercises while sitting. As the muscles strengthen you can progress to exercise standing up. Like any activity, start with what you can achieve and progress from there. Remember to use your muscles whenever you exert yourself during your daily activities.

If you can feel the muscles working, exercise them by:

1. Squeezing/ tightening and drawing in and up around both your anus (back passage) and urethra (bladder outlet). Lift up inside and try to hold this contraction strongly for as long as you can (1 - 10 seconds). Keep breathing! Now release and relax. You should have a definite feeling of letting go.

2. Rest 10 - 20 seconds - repeat Step 1, and remember it is important to rest. If you find it easy to hold, try to hold longer and repeat as many as you are able. Work towards 12 long, strong holds.

3. Now try 5 - 10 short, fast strong contractions.

do NOT hold your breath

do NOT push down instead of squeeze and lift

do NOT pull your tummy in tightly

do NOT tighten your buttocks and thighs.

Try to set aside 5 - 10 minutes in your day for this exercise routine, and remember, quality is important. A few good contractions are more beneficial than many half-hearted ones and good results take time and effort. Remember to use the muscles when you need them most. That is, always tighten before you cough, sneeze, lift, bend, get up out of a chair, etc.

Now that we have covered how the exercises are done here are some reasons why you want to do them regularly. These exercises have additional benefits for men, like being able to sustain an erection for longer, improving your ejaculation/orgasm contractions, helping with bowel control and regularity and so on. The benefits of these should make them a must have for a daily health routine.

Second Diet Change:

You will find that a nitrate rich diet that enhances testosterone levels safely will be the most effective in this area.The following is a brief list of foods that have proven abilities to help with sexual function in men:
Garlic: Garlic is practically the king of these foods. Ever wonder about the stereotyped  ‘Italian’ libido? It’s strongly related to the amount of garlic in the diet. It directly improves blood flow, increases testosterone levels (which are essential) and studies have shown that it is more effective to increase garlic consumption than the Big Pharma solutions of Viagra and the like.
High Nitrate Greens: Things like Spinach, Kale, butter greens and so on.
Beets: when it comes to Nitrates, Beets are at the top of the list so add them whenever and wherever possible (and reasonable).
Citrus: Important over all but this too boosts vascular strength (and helps drastically reduce risks of stroke/heart attack in older men).
Dark Chocolate. No, I don’t mean a candy bar. I mean Raw Cacao. This is a real superfood because it can lower blood pressure, improve vascular performance (can you say double the nutrient benefit to vascular wall strenght)  and boosts the  nitric oxide functions in the body. The higher the concentration of cacao the better.
Chili Peppers: Chili is your friend in this arena: It helps protect testosterone from being broken down when on a diet, vastly improves vascular health and circulation, reduces blood pressure, the list goes on.
Blueberries: These little beauties are loaded with lavonoids and phenols that are well known for their benefits to  systems that support erectile strength and blood pressure. (quercetin, resveratrol, proantocyanidin, and of course the good old vitamin C).
Pomegranate: Antioxidant-rich fruit is extremely beneficial to hormone systems and the Ole Pom is your best friend in this arena. Strong reduction in arterial plaque, is just the start here.
Oysters: I saved this for last because not everyone can eat them but they can take a lesson from the folklore and the real science behind it. Oysters are high in testosterone production vitamins which explains there famous reputation. These vitamins ( zinc, magnesium, selenium, copper, and vitamin D ) can be taken in supplements but I personally believe that there is more to a vitamin than a powdered residue, so getting it from the source is best.

  A more general change in exercise can help, and some can be a shared/fun experience.

Aerobic exercise. Please don’t think I mean ‘steps’ or ‘gym’ routines. Those work great but I’m getting at something more intimate/duo related: Dance. Dance together, learn a style you enjoy that involves a lot of movement and build up to doing at least a 15 minute routine daily. Taking this page from the Addams family is wise because it brings you both closer together and takes that ‘pressure’ to exercise off and makes it fun.
Start simple, start slow and small, but work your way up to really dancing up a storm. At my peak dance was the only cardio/aerobic exercise I did and just going out dancing once or twice a week made an enormous difference to my sex drive.
Push ups: This too can be a fun game if you get creative. get some repetitions in to help with upper body conditioning/toning and you’ll start to see a difference.

Now to put it all together: There are a lot of pieces of information here that can seem difficult to assemble but I can give you an illustration about how to make them work together.
1: Shower time fun. Get your Pelvic floors warm ups done in the shower. That also lets you practice the ‘throttling’ of the urine stream. Warm water to help stretch the surface muscles gets you ready for the day.
2: Breakfast:  A light breakfast of oranges, pomegranate and blueberries. If you want, you can blend them into a shake with yogurt (the good kind that has the actual biotics needed for intestinal health) and have them on the go.
3: Morning Jog or brunch dancing. Depending on what schedules are like take at least 15 minutes to go for a jog (or a ‘vigorous’ walk) or to dance together. Yes you can do the dancing on your own. Be shameless about it. Be sexy together or just have fun.
4: Lunch: A garlic and greens salad.
5: Dinner: Garlic oysters with a spicy salad.
6: Evening “Cardio”: You get the drift here. Go out dancing together, get a long walk, go to bed early…. what matters is that you get your heart rate up and take in more oxygen.

I can’t emphasize the importance of fun enough. Find ways to add it. Being happy, finding joy, are critical to combating the potential psychological side effects of having difficult with erections.

Fighting those psychological issues is it’s own lesson but know that depression is the king of ED. A perfectly healthy person suffering from depression can find everything not working right with them physically. Those are doubly hard to combat because they are self-reinforcing and take a more consistent change to being to treat.

For now you have more than enough tools and tips to really start the process.

Don’t forget to consult a physician to approve the changes and see what he suggests and try his first before starting all of these. Some you can do anyway and probably should but take this with a ‘grain of salt’ as advice and not a consultation.

I wish you the best of luck and many happy, bouncing, erections!